my friend asked.
His question came when I opened up my heart about wanting another child. He was concerned about my daughter, and what he asked left me pausing.
But then I realised, she wants me to have a baby almost as much as I do.
She has always wanted a little brother or sister. Ever since she was small, she asked for me to have one.
She has been very interested in our IVF treatments. And I have been very open about it.
About the process, about the medications, about the retrievals. And she's been there when I injected myself
and she asked to be there for my embryo transfer. I wasn't sure if it would be too much, for her or for me. So I said no the first two times. We had enough with just our self - my man and I. Everything was new to us, and there were a lot of emotions to handle. But the 3 time, I let her come along. She was all excited, and got to watch the screen as they transferred the embryo.
Sadly we haven't been lucky yet. And she did ask after the last treatment. Asked "what if you can't have anymore babies?" And I was honest, I told her that it would be sad, but that I was SO lucky having her, my beautiful girl. I was so lucky, that I got to be a mother - her mother,
and that of course - she have to give me a lot of grand babies, in time.
All in all, yes there have been though times and there have been tears, but mostly we've been keeping our spirit up and are looking forward to the next treatment, with hope. And my daughter doesn't question my love for her because I want another child. We are all in this, hoping for the same, to grow our family.
On another note, my man is on his way to Africa, so Valentine's day was mother-daughter day!
We had her favorite dinner and watched her favorite show - The Vampire Diaries. Kind of funny when she's crushing on Damon Salvatore, played by Ian Somerhalder. I told her - "you know he's older than me in real life?" She laughed and asked me to shut up, she knew and didn't need a reminder - AND he didn't look as old as me. Well, thank you very much honey! hehe..
And as my man is on his way to Africa, so is my camera. Which means I will take a dive in the library, and maybe recycle some photos from my old blog to accompany my writing the next week or so.